clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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