No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
