Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
