Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
