Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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