ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
