highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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