She is in my trunk
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
