if i died would you start the facebook group?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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