That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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