This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
