she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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