my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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