she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
