New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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