just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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