Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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