when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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