So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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