he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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