I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
