I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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