You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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