Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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