please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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