I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
