Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
