he thought i was a dude.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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