The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
