New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
