I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
