You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
