Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize