Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
