I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
