it hurts more in the daytime
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
