the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
