What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize