i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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