Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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