I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
