i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
