R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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