6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
