i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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