normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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