Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
