He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
