I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
