apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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