Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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