whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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