I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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