OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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