never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
