New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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