Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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