Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
