i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
