Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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